Even though I am questioning everything I ever thought I knew about God, I am having trouble letting go of the idea that there is some kind of power in prayer.

What is prayer, anyway? Is it begging a deity to do something? Is a deity a requirement? Is it a collective hope for something that brings people together in a way we can’t quite explain?

Maybe there is a God, maybe there isn’t. I don’t know. I have had many, many prayers that it seemed were never answered (or were answered “No” which I do not think makes sense). However, I have seen positive things happen after prayer.

Maybe they would have happened anyway.

Or, maybe there is a power in thinking and feeling and believing in a certain direction.

I googled “prayer for atheists” just to see what was out there. Of course, I found hundreds of well-meaning (I hope) prayers written for Christians to pray for their poor sad atheist loved ones.

And I found this post, a port in a storm, an oasis in the desert. It is attributed to Jerry Dewitt, a deconverted Christian pastor. Somebody I can relate to.

While it has its detractors in the comments, I find it to be very helpful, if for no other reason than to confirm what I feel: maybe something is going on when we spill it honestly. Regardless of where I end up, right now I don’t need to apologize to anyone for caring about and listening to other people.

And praying… Not because I expect a Sky Daddy to find me a parking place. But because it makes me feel connected to another human being.